How can I help my 9 year old boy with his friends?

He is very reliable to his father an I and to his younger brother and sister. Excellent grades, helpful at help with the normal amount of grumbling before he does it. But he cries that no one likes him and he gets made fun of. He is a good looking boy, wears regular t-shirts and jeans, name brand shoes. Plays sports well. He gets along ok with younger kids, but not with kids his own age. Also, he is 9 and in the 4th grade, so he is one of the younger kids. but he is also 4'8. He is the type to go up to anyone and start talking. I think he is well rounded kid, and all other parents have said what a great, polite kid he is. What is going on? He doesn't have even one friend at school and he is ALWAYS being teased!

How can I help my 9 year old boy with his friends?
Well i am 12 years old and I use to have the same problem. I think i was babied too much and my mom made it seem like everything i did was perfect and that i do a perfect job on everything. If you compliment on one little thing some is wearing or does it will help a whole lot.
Reply:You need to find out specifically what they're teasing him about. When I was a kid I got harrassed for all sorts of things, but the main thing that stuck out was that I didn't have any social skills appropriate to my age-group. I got along well with older kids and adults, but not kids my own age. You might consider observing him around other kids (when they don't know of course) and see exactly what's going on.
Reply:What I would do is set up meeting with his teacher at the school to put a stop to the teasing. If you don't this could really affect his self-esteem. Continue to encourage him remind him of who he is. Also, when you talk to the teacher see what she thinks and if there's a possibility that he could actually be the teaser. You never know but it really does help to hear it from the teacher. Take some of her advice and take it from there. The main thing is that you tell him how wonderful he is.
Reply:My team had a similar situation with a student that transferred in from a foreign country. The student's step mother called me and as teachers, we introduced him to students that we thought may get along with him or have lunch with him.
Reply:Get him into boyscouts, adventure club, or something of that nature where he has additional fun time outside of school environment so he can work on his social skills and bonding with his classmates, also this give you a chance to watch how he behaves if you choose to stick around/help out with the meetings and you can correct his behavior on site/provide encouragement as needed. Maybe he is just being too hard on himself, I've seen kids do that at a very young age for no particular reason, it's best to just keep encouraging him and giving him extra opportunites to bond with kids his age. Good Luck.
Reply:there is nothing wrong with just having younger friends until you mix better with your peers. take him on outings where he might meet people outside of his school to socialize him. He'll be fine, very few will be popular right away =) you could also try putting him in a christian school, they are great with those issues.



CAT